In Your Absence
by TheCreativeJanex
Summary: What if the Bishop disease wasn't the only thing to send Myrnin insane? Has past is enough to give you nightmares but what is the one thing he regrets the most? He continuously told Claire he 'loved' Ada for her brain but whose body and soul did the mad man treasure? RATING MAY CHANGE.
1. Ch1- The Rare Young Woman

**Summary: ****What if the Bishop disease wasn't the only thing to send Myrnin insane? Has past is enough to give you nightmares but what is the one thing he regrets the most? He continuously told Claire he 'loved' Ada for her brain but whose body and soul did the mad man treasure?**

**Chapter One- The Rare Young Woman**

**November 1593**

The cool air caressed her cheeks, causing a bright red to make her fare skin. The only sources of light being from the moon or small lanterns held by the guards, she longed to fall in the blackness and gain some much need rest. She was dragged along this ride to the manor house in Wilmslow, a new place for her husband to own and rape the small village of its money and women. Her light body swayed as her horse rode on the uneven paths of the English country side. The movement made her feel nauseous, the riding had been taking a toll on her, long hours of over two days with little sleep or food.

She had the feeling someone was watching her. Her large brown eyes flicked up to the trees. At the top there seemed to be a man balanced on the small, fragile branches near the top. She felt his eyes looking upon her soul, scarring her forever.

With the blink of an eye he was gone, she desperately looked around for him, was she going mad? Her eyes picked him out once more hidden in the low level shrubbery, ready to pounce like a predator on its prey.

"Edward!" she hissed to her husband who rode a few lengths in front of her. He clearly ignored her, keeping his head forward looking into the dark woods. "Edward!" she begged. "There is a man watching us!"

"Oh sweet Felicity," he growled to his wife. "You are going mad due to the lack of sleep, now be quiet otherwise..." He never completed his sentence. In a few minor seconds his body dropped like a sack of potatoes to the soggy ground.

"EDWARD!" Felicity screeched, she watched as all of her guards dropped to the ground like her husband, sending her into complete darkness. Panic stricken she jerked her trusty steed to the opposite direction and charged away.

As she rode hard, a figure stepped into her path. Her horse reared in fright sending Felicity hurtling towards the ground only to be caught in cold arms. In terror she looked up at the pale face of her hero, in the moonlight it was clear to see the red marks of blood around his mouth and down his front. Through his lips pointed two sharp white fangs.

Breathless and terrified she trembled in the strangers arms. Her delicate fingers reached up, touching the fangs as they poked through his lips. He let her, closing his eyes enjoying the warm touch of a human.

"You are not a man?" She whispered his reply a shake of his head.

"You killed my husband and his men?" his reply only a nod.

"Are you going to kill me?" her lips trembled out. The cold tips of his fingers lightly touched her temple.

"Not yet" He murmured before put her on her feet. Like a gentleman, he took off his coat and rested on Felicity's shoulders leaving his in a thin blouse and trousers. He offered her his arm, "Take a walk with me?" Felicity hesitated; did she have any other option? Her husband and guards were dead and her horse nowhere in sight.

She carefully placed her arm in his, "Clever girl" he praised and lead the way. Felicity was weak, drained of any strength she might have had, the stranger was dragging her along and she slowly faded in and out of consciousness. She heard the faint click of a lock and felt the warmth of a fire hit her. She removed the gentleman's jacket and her cloak. "Dear me, my girl, you are pale and thin. Do you eat?" he remarked.

Felicity was leaning against a wall, trying not to fall. Her body was a sleep, the fear of this 'man' had taken the last bit of energy she had. Her body trembled and she felt the floor getting closer. The cool arms caught her once more, "my girl, sleep now" her body shut down and Felicity let herself fall into the darkness.

She felt hungry. Her body rumbled with agreement, her eyes flickered open to a white ceiling. She tried recalling where she had fallen asleep but that memory seemed to evade her. She sat up, the world began to spin. Slumming back to the bed, she closed her eyes trying to straighten out the twirling world. Her head fell to the left and she slowly opened her eyes only to find a pair of black ones starring back. She jumped away and screamed. The man only sat there, his left leg crossed over his right and his chin resting on the back of his hands, "i mean you no harm."

"You... You are a murderer! You have taken me!" she sat up ignoring the spinning room, "You have harmed me enough!"

"Actually, you will find that you willingly accompanied me on a walk." He smirked at her before reaching down to his side and bringing up a plate full of fruit. Felicity's stomach growled in need, the man placed it on the bed, "Be my guest." hesitantly she picked at the fruit before tucking in to the feast in front of her. He watched as she did, she was like his own pet to keep, feed and play with.

"You are a rare young woman" He stated. "What is your name?"

She cleared her throat, "Felicity Greycroft."

"Well, Miss Greycroft, no human has ever seen me hunting, you must have spectacular sight." He talked in wonder, his eyes well and truly opened to this new sense that the human's may be gaining. A next step in evolution.

"You are not human?" she asked, forgetting her manners of waiting to be asked a question. He didn't seem to mind her rudeness and answered.

"No Miss Greycroft, i am not human. I was once but not anymore." He stated openly.

"Then what are you sir?" she whispered, her eyes are wide with anticipation.

"I am a creature of the night." He never took his eyes off the girl; he wanted to make her an offer and to do so he needed to be truthful. "My name is Myrnin of Conway, i was born many years ago and i am a vampire."

Felicity felt sick, she was in the presence of a murdering beast that had the opportunity to kill her at any given point. "So you are going to kill me, sir?"

"That, Felicity, is not my intention."

"Then what is?" she asked, her timid voice piped up. Her thoughts turned to her mother and father and little brother Thomas, do they think she is dead? That she killed her husband? That she ran away? Felicity wanted nothing more that to return to her family home and feel the love and warmth it provided.

He reached over, popping a few berries into his mouth. The corner of his lips turned up, "To show you the world."

**7 months later**

Felicity was a smart and charming young woman and Myrnin had realised he had met his match. Her witty answers and her knowledge only added to her attraction. They took different adventures right across the country then to places like France and Spain; he had fulfilled his promise to her.

Myrnin didn't know what to expect when he had picked up the young woman in the road, he thought he would have tasted her by now or killed her but something stopped him. He enjoyed being in Felicity's company.

He felt her warm arm link with him bringing him from his dream state. They were walking through the dark streets of York, they had come back recently to check-up on Felicity's family, he smiled as he felt his companion hold on tight to him. "Is everything alright, darling?" he asked hearing her heart rate increase.

"Yes, though i feel safer closer to you." She admitted, a red tint crossed her cheeks.

Myrnin brought her to a halt, turning her so they were looking at each other, his cool hand caressed her cheek the other held her hand. "Oh i wish you would not say such things, my sweet felicity." He gave her a sad smile. "I am a creature able to break you in seconds, please never forget that."

"I am in debt to you." She whispered, "You rescued me, gave me a life and you may take it if you so wish." She had tears in her eyes, he didn't see the good man she saw. Without Myrnin, she would have been trapped for the rest of her life with Edward, in her eyes Myrnin was a hero. "My love, I am yours. I belong to you" She rose on to her tiptoes and pressed her soft lips to his cold ones.

It took all his strength to hold back and kiss her gently; he wanted her to be happy. Pulling away slightly he whispered, "Just as i belong to you."

They made their way back to the inn where they were staying, she should have felt embarrassed or ashamed but their kiss felt right. They belonged together. As she dressed into her nightgown she workout how she could take it further, how could she prove her love to him? Felicity wandered to the bed and landed on the covers.

"You fed from strangers when i sleep?" She asked, her eyes focus on the gentleman in the chair reading one of his books, fully dressed and ready to watch over her as she slept.

"Correct." He answered closing his book; she had all his attention now.

"Do you always kill the person you feed from?" she asked, making him a little uncomfortable as he had never had to discuss his feeding techniques before.

"No, it is easier to kill them."

"Will you feed from me?" She asked, rather glad he had very good hearing, her voice was so quiet she was unsure that she had said anything at all.

"Absolutely not!" he yelled in outrage, jumping to his feet. "Are you mad?!"

"Please Myrnin, let me finish" She begged, "I owe you. You have provided me with shelter and food, you have cared for me. This is the only way i can repay you." she slivered off the bed and stood in front of the tall pale man, his eyes wide looking straight into hers.

"Your company is enough" he hissed.

"I want this," she whispered her small hand resting on his cheek. "Let me take care of you." she took his hand and led him to the bed, he perched, still lost for words. He had never been offered blood like this before.

"What if i hurt you? Kill you?" he asked his dark eyes in confusion. "You are my world, Felicity. I cannot bear to be without you"

"I trust you" she replied and kissed his lips.

He couldn't believe he was considering this ludicrous plan of Felicity's. If she were to die in his arms, he wouldn't survive, she was all he had. She kept his humanity in place. He rose up and felt her grip his arm. He reached over to the wooden cabinet and yanked off a piece of sharp wood, "If it gets too much, stake me and try not to aim for my heart." He instructed making sure she had some way of protecting herself.

She held the piece of wood in her hands testing the weight before placing it on the table by the bed. "How do we do this?" she asked, her innocence creeping through tone.

"Lay on the bed, in reaching distance from the stake." He ordered and she followed the orders. Laying on the bed in her white nightgown, felicity looked like an angel. Myrnin inhaled a large amount of un-needed oxygen before getting on top of her and between her legs. He pressed his lips to hers, "You are so brave, i am in awe of you" he complemented her. He stroked down the nape of her neck, "Are you sure?" he asked, hoping she would change her mind.

"Yes, i want this" she replied, her voice a little wobbly.

He stroked her face and kissed her lips, "I love you" he mentioned the words that were so foreign to him; he had never loved something so much as he loved Felicity. He started kissing down her neck before hitting the spot and plunging his teeth into her vulnerable skin. She was delicious.

She cried out in pain though Myrnin clearly heard through the cries, "I love you too" escape from her precious lips. Soon the cries turned into moans of pleasure and Myrnin could feel her small hands explore his body and her hips grind against his. It took every ounce of control not to lose it, knowing how deadly this scene could get. "Myrnin, stop please" she begged, he heard her plea but she was so tasty it was hard not to ignore her, "i do not want to hurt you" she warned.

Myrnin pulled away, his beautiful angel now weak from blood loss. "Oh sweetheart! I am so sorry" he cried seeing how pale she was, her skin scarily white in contrast to her auburn hair. He ran his fang over his wrist and pressed the crimson liquid to her lips, "Drink, my love" he begged, feeling her trying to pull away but soon giving in and sucking the blood. After a few minutes he pulled away knowing that too much would turn her into a monster too.

Myrnin stroked her wavy locks of auburn, "My brave, precious girl." He praised as her wounds started to heal. Rolling off her then pulling her onto his chest, he held onto his angel. He loved her. He had never felt something so pure and right in his many centuries before. He was going to cherish this girl forever.

"Myrnin?" Felicity's faint voice asked.

"Yes my love?"

"Promise that i am the only person you will feed off" she whispered. "I don't want anyone else sharing you so intimately"

He ran his fingers through her hair, he felt at peace with the world, he hadn't killed the woman he loved and she still cared for him, so much so she was willing to offer up her blood all the time. "I promise this is our bond and it shall never be shared by anyone else."


	2. Ch2- Human Comforts

**Warning: This part is M-Rated.**

**Chapter Two- Human Comforts**

I felt her warm body shift in my arms; she was slowly stirring from her dreams. I too had slept, only lightly but i did dream, dreamt of her, my wonderful, lovely Felicity. She challenged me constantly, which her dead husband had constantly knocked out of her. She possessed a brilliant mind creative and open with an eagerness to learn.

Best of all, Felicity belonged to me. As i to her.

Her small hands grasped at my shirt as her eyes flickered open to meet mine. "Good morning" i say, smiling at her as she begins to wake.

"Can i awake like this every morning?" she asks sitting up, her big brown eyes full of happiness.

I touch her warm cheek, "You, my darling, can have whatever you want" i promise her, her smile grows. My aim in life is to make her happy, once it was scientifically and serious, she changes that. She encourages me to work but not as obsessive as i was getting. "How are you feeling?"

She blushes, "Well rested." I'm still touching her heated cheeks as she continues. "I feel like i should be ashamed of my actions, we had a very intimate moment last night and we slept in this bed together, we are not husband and wife"

"We are not a part of 'their' society." I state, we are different. We are in love and devoted to each other. We are more committed than most married couples and i hate she feels this way, we have committed no crime. "We are our own little island, just me and you. And on this little island we can do whatever we please."

She smiled but it was a sad, weak one. "Do you think i am some sort of harlot?" she asked, tears in those big brown eyes and it killed me for the second time.

"No my love, in my eyes you are a beautiful angel sent by the lord himself to brighten up my miserable life and i thank him every day for the gift he has given me." I murmur to her as she cries, pulling her into my arms, i sway her. I decide to take a different angle of reassurance, "did we have sex?"

She gasps in shock, "No we did not!"

"Well there you have it; you are no harlot in my eyes."

"You promise, Myrnin, you do not think horrid things of me?"

"I promise, sweetheart. I promise that i will treasure your reputation until the day i die"

**3 Years On**

Soon things changed, every day i watched the pretty eighteen year old girl turn into a stunning woman, my feelings of love for her blood were far gone, I loved her for her. She made me be the man i once was and there came a time i proved it to her.

We lay in our bed, silently watching each other, occasionally stroking the others skin. She wanted more; she wanted a marriage and family- things that i could not give her. But she also needed love and comfort, a natural want from a human. I felt her heart beat as i ran my finger tips over her breast, the beat vibrated through her body and called to me. Her eyes were bright; she was no longer a child of the society. We were our own world; she is the queen i have chosen to rule my land with. She is my beautiful lady who had made her own choices and by the burning passion in those deep brown eyes she also knew exactly what she wanted.

"I am no longer afraid" she whispered after hours of silence.

My eyebrows raised, she didn't seem to have any fears, she willingly let a creature suck at her precious blood, left her family to start an adventure with a strange man with the knowledge she would be judged, every day she slept in my cold arms not considering the idea i could snap her like a twig. Felicity was the bravest human i had ever known and it hurt to find she had been hiding a secret from me. "What did you fear, my love?"

"Rejection." She was nibbling on that perfectly plum bottom lip as she thought of what to say. "You know i have been married, you know i am not... pure" her cheeks were a furious red but sadness filled her dark orbs.

"Oh my love," i murmur as i pull her into my arms, "I would never reject you, you are my everything, i could not cope in a world where you don't exist. You are my home"

"Does sex matter to vampires?" She bluntly asked in a quiet tone.

It did. Vampires loved sex. It was close and intimate; it brought us close to the human we once were. Sex is natural; it is a dance of passion and for some reason it was frowned upon. It was beautiful and pure and for some reason, i believe that having sex with Felicity would be different. She is not some wench i picked up from the street; she was a companion, the love of my life, my world. But somehow in the three years of our paths crossing we had never gotten to that stage.

"Yes, we do." I answer honestly, "It makes us feel human or as close as we can get to our former selves."

She pulled away from me, sitting back on to her knees, "Are you pure?" she asked, her confidence growing. I shook my head, still lying on the bed, all of my attention on her, not willing to miss any signal she was sending. "I want to make you feel human again" This was my brave Felicity, ready to go against everything she had been taught and ready to face the world with a different view.

"Darling, you don't have to do anything" i reply sitting up, cupping her soft face in my hands. I wanted her so bad; my second death would be less painful than to keep my hands off her.

"I want too" she whispered, pecking my lips with her own. "I need too"

She pulled away and lay back onto the bed, she lay flat on her back with her eyes squeezed tightly shut. "What are you doing?" I ask in confusion to her distance.

"I want to have sex with you" She replied, her eyes flickering open and gave me a very confused look.

I gritted my teeth, i finally realised that she was not pure but she was innocent to how good sex could be. "Listen, Felicity, if we are going to do this we are going to do it properly. I'm going to make love to you." her heart was so loud it was deafening. "Forget what that bastard of a husband used to do and relax. This is meant to be special for two people who care for each other."

She reached out with a shaky hand, pressing it to the place where my heart once beat. "You care for me?"

"More than you will ever know" i promise, ridding myself of my shirt letting her fingers explore the cold skin that once was hidden to her eyes. Her lips parted slightly and the soft breath tickled my naked skin. She got to her knees, slowly slipping the straps of her nightgown down her shoulders, her chest revealed to my hungry eyes. I bit hard onto my lip; i had been waiting for this moment for 3 years, when she became mine entirely. Her thumb stroked my bitten lip, it pulled away and her eyes focused on the crimson liquid on her skin. Her lips sucked off before she moved forward to clean the rest of my lip. It drove me insane.

Wrapping my hand around the back of her neck, the other snaking around her tiny waist pulling her into a passionate kiss. I couldn't get enough of her. I moved down the kisses to her neck i felt the pulse against my lips, i took every bit of willpower to not nip her vulnerable skin but the moans of pleasure escaping her lips remind me of my aim: Tonight was about her.

Pushing her back gently she watched me with lust filled eyes, excited of what will happen next. My lips found her breasts; i sucked and kissed them, getting closer and closer to her nipple, teasing her. As i teased her, her hips grinded hard against mine trying to find some release. Pulling away i heard her frustrated groan, i smirked at her before yanking her nightgown fully off revealing herself to me.

Felicity lay bare across the sheets; her eyes changed from lust-filled too worried. She was exposed to me.

"Say something" she begged, fearing me rejecting her.

"Felicity..." I whisper, unable to find the words to describe the sight. "You are perfect. You are beautiful. I am the luckiest man alive to have you"

She blushed and smiled, leaning up and pressing those soft lips to mine. She laid back onto the bed, smiling at me, "Thank you". I stroked down her body, feathering touches from the base of her neck between her breasts, felt the soft skin over her stomach to her most intimate part, her eyes popped ready to see what i was going to do. I smirked at her kneeling between her legs bringing her left leg over my shoulder; i started leaving soft kisses up her long legs, again reaching her intimate part this time leaving one kiss on it. i did the same treatment to the other leg only not stopping at one kiss on her most hidden parts.

I heard her purr under my lips, her lips screaming out my name. I was to bring her to her first climax, "Myrnin! I going to explode" she panted.

"Let go, sweetheart" i mumbled between her folds, "Just let go"

And she did. Her body letting go of the world, i have only ever tasted her blood but if vampire could survive off her juices i would never get tired of its sweetness. She was on her come down; i lay next to her stroking her face. Her eyes opened, "That was unbelievable." she whispered.

"Felicity, this is how our lives together will, only pleasure from now" I reply.

"And i want more" she let out a soft giggle. "I want you to feel what i just felt."

"I feel it every time you look at you, touch you, kiss you" I tell her, kissing her soft lips. I got on top of her, "Even though you are very, very greedy" I smirk, kissing her with every ounce of passion i could muster. "Want more, sweet girl?"

She nodded and returned to kissing me, wrapping her legs around my legs pulling me closer. Letting her feel the hardness she had caused, there was no stopping me, i could feel my inner creature ready to take control, I had to keep in control, for felicity, making love was for her. "Do you want more?"

"Yes" she pleaded.

"Are you sure?" i ask, knowing she was not a virgin but she still had respect for herself.

Cupping my cheek, "I am sure." I pulled her on top of me, her breathing had gotten faster. Her eyes looked down at my manhood, her fingers carefully stroked up my length. She nibbled on her bottom lip; "Edward wasn't like this" she looked at my manhood with puzzled eyes. She blinked a few times, "Will it... fit?" her cheeks were flaring red, completely avoiding my gaze. I used my fingertips to lift up her chin and look into my eyes.

"If it is too much we will stop" I promise her, it was hard to imagine how much i would feel for this girl. One i was going to kill all those years ago, one that i have tasted so many times, one that i feel completely and utterly in love with. A small fragile human, who needed me so much but it also worked the other way. I could never imagine my life without her. "Sit up a little" she hovered over my manhood. I held on to her hips and gently lower her onto me. She groaned, throwing her head back, i to let out an animalistic sound. Moving my hands from her hips to holding her hands helping her find a pace.

If the world ended at this moment, i would happily die a second time.


	3. Ch3- The Realisation

**Chapter Three- The Realisation **

Three years turned into five years, five turned into seven; soon it was ten years to the day since i was picked up by Myrnin from the curb. We had travelled the world and back and ended up back in his home village of Conwy, in our home. We had told the villagers that we were married; it saved a lot of gossip, though we lived nocturnal and never got a chance to listen to the rumours. I still paid visits to the local shops during the day. I wore a ring around my wedding finger although we had never made vows. I wanted to marry Myrnin, so badly, i wanted to grow old with him, have children with him but i was terrified. I could see myself aging everyday but in ten years Myrnin had not aged a day.

I awake surrounded by darkness, feel his cool skin under my palm. Getting up from the warm covers, i make my way down stairs and to the kitchen but Myrnin had beaten me there, standing in only his trousers with a smirk. "I win" he grins, in a flash i am in his arms once more, our lips dancing against each other. "I love you, Miss Greycroft"

"Well, sir, i love you too" I reply, hating the fact he doesn't have a surname or won't tell me so we could have continued the back and forth teasing. "Do we have plans for this evening?"

"I fancied spending the evening in bed with my beautiful lover" Myrnin smirked, hoping i would agree.

"I had a dream." I say changing the subject, nothing i would love more than to spend my evening with my gentleman.

His eyebrow furrow, "What about?" he questions sitting me on the small chair that surround our dining room table.

"You won't like it" i whisper, knowing that if i tell him it would cause an argument. There had been so many on this topic.

"You can tell me anything." He says sitting opposite me, his black eyes focused fully on me.

"Will we ever make it official?" I ask, avoiding his eyes but placing my left hand on the table, the ring on my wedding finger fully on show.

I heard the scrap on wooden legs on the tiles. Looking up to find that Myrnin was no longer here. He hated marriage talk, children talks and death talks. I am getting older, soon i will be unable to have children and i want them with Myrnin. I quietly get from my seat and make my way to his room, not bedroom, his room full of plants and potions. The villagers would have a field day with it. I slip in quietly and he's sat with his bare black to me, his left hand resting on his desk tapping away. I wrap my hands around him, resting my cheek on his shoulder.

"I do not want to fight." I whisper, "I can't help what i dream."

"I know" he huffs. "You know i can't give you that life, so do not be cruel to yourself and keep wishing for it" he pushed me away harsh; i land on the wooden floor boards hitting my head on the way down.

I sit up dizzy and alone, tears roll down my cheeks, when Myrnin was nasty he was a vicious bastard but somehow always after our disagreements i was wish that it was him to come and comfort me. I pick myself up off the ground; i creep around my home and towards the door. I wonder out the gardens, in the darkness i couldn't see the colours of the flowers, i missed the sunlight on my skin, the birds chirp in the morning light. I had given so much up for Myrnin, the sun, my family, children. Then he would say the meanest things. I go further, leaving the garden and down the path to the gate. I had adventured down it so many times but this time it was scary, nerve racking, i was just let my feet take the lead. My body shook, i was dressed in my nightgown, my feet and shoulders were bare. I kept walking through the dead streets, the cobbles under them rough and uneven. I passed the shops i normally used in a trance. I heard the screech of a baby from an open window and my heart sunk. I walked through the village and into the meadow where the animals grazed. I got to the edge of the field to a fence; i climbed over the sharp rocks cutting deep into my skin. I felt the grains of sand on my feet and heard the crashing of waves.

I felt water at my feet, then my knees, soaking my nightgown. I was going deep, freezing and water up to my waist.

I was being dragged back. I heard myself screaming, wanting to go back to the water. I was thrown onto the sand, shaking furiously.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?" He screams at me, his white skin dripping from the sea water. He was so angry, so scared. "HUH? MIDNIGHT SWIMMING?" he yanked off his jacket and wrapped me in it. "YOU STUPID GIRL!" He cries and pulls me into his arms, "Where you trying to kill yourself?" I heard his voice wobble "I can't live without you" he was carrying me next, using his vampire speed to get us back home quickly.

I was lying in bed, i was filthy and Myrnin was zipping around shouting abuse at me. I was shaking still, wanting Myrnin to hold me, tell me i was going to be fine. My chattering teeth manage to mumble out "M-Myrnin" and held my shaky hands out him. Hoping he would forgive me.

"My Sweet, silly girl" he looked broken. His eyes hurting from the pain he was feeling at almost losing me. Joining me under the covers, his cool body didn't help the shaking until he bit into his wrist, "Drink, it will help" my lips found the crimson liquid. I felt my wounds heal and my strength return. Taking enough, Myrnin held me in his arms "Why did you do this?"

"I don't know- i just wanted to get away for a bit." I whisper, the wobbly voice now gone, "You hurt me, Myrnin, push me away and you say things to me the just... stab me in the heart" i let my tears fall, "I just want you to love me, marry me and grow old with me"

"I can only do one of those things" He whispers "and i love you with every ounce that i can, you are my world" he kisses my head.

"Everyday i grow older, i age, I'm not going to last forever, Myrnin." I whisper and turn away from him. "i would like to know that i could leave an impression on this earth whether it be through children or finding a cure to an illness" he had forever i only had a matter of years.

"Well you've made an impression on me," he murmurs wrapping his arms around me, "Promise me, Felicity you won't try that again, please i can't live in a world where you don't exist."

"I promise," i say closing the remaining space between us. "I love you too, please do not forget it"

**Myrnin**

Realisation hit me; my time with Felicity was limited. I have watched how the last ten years of our lives together have been fantastic and bright but it has flown by. My beautiful lover has grown from a scared young girl to a confident, beautiful woman where as i have not changed in appearance by a day.

I should have not been selfish with Felicity, i should have freed her all those years ago and let her live in the light. She could have grown and fallen in love and had those children she has always been dreaming about. But no she had to bump into me on that cold winters night, i had taken her into the darkness and had become addicted to her, she was my drug and i couldn't survive another moment without her.

Once more i was going to be selfish with her and bring her totally into the darkness, so i would never have to face losing her.


	4. Ch4- A Madman's Punishment

**Chapter Four- A Madman's Punishment**

Her skin was coloured in a soft orange light as the sun was starting to rise from the valleys, Felicity had slept all night and the light was starting to stir her. Soon i would have to trap her in the darkness once more; she didn't even know what i had done to her. I had turned her into a monster.

Her skin was scarily white when the sun wasn't giving off a soft orange glow, i would never see those perfect brown orbs again they would be replaced by blood red iris's, she would no longer crave warm bread but warm crimson liquid.

I had created a dark fiend to join me in the shadows.

She let out a soft, painful groan in pain as the sun rose on our fragile bodies. I quickly closed the thick drapes covering the room in darkness.

Her new eyes flickered open before burying her head in the blood covered pillow. She let out a hiss and her red orbs found me.

"What did you do to me?!" she screamed as she tried to find her feet.

"I can't lose you" I whisper, knowing full well that she could hear me.

She was shaky, before moving towards me and slamming me into a wall with her new found strength. "Myrnin... did you change me?" she asked before letting out a painful howl and dropping to her knee. I stood where she left me. She knew of my selfish act, how i had taken away any chance of her having a normal life. "Why?! You know i didn't want this?!" she screeched before trying to choke me.

"Because i love you! I want to be with you forever, Felicity! This is the only way" I plead, wanting her to understand but it was no use. I had taken away any chance of her having a baby, a family, of growing old.

"You do not love me" She hissed before releasing me and stepping away, "You love yourself, Myrnin, you are too scared of accepting sadness or grief because you'll be the one who is hurt. You have turned me into a creature; i have lost my soul to a monster" i saw the burning passion in her eyes and i knew her plan immediately.

In a blink of an eye she was gone and i followed. I followed her like a lost dog, as she wandered into the sunlight that shone over our garden, as she and i screamed in pain as the sun scolded our chalk-white skin but she keeps walking, then crawling trying to find more light. I watch as her skin is set on fire, her hands holding out for me but I'm too late. I cannot save her a third time. Felicity Greycroft is no more. She is a charred body in the garden of her home.

I throw myself back into the shadows. The disgusting smell of burning flesh attacking my nostrils. The one thing I tried to avoid, turning my beautiful lover into a monster, her last thoughts of me full of hate. I deserved to lose her, i learnt my lesson, i was no good. It took losing Felicity to show how selfish i was.

I sit in the shade, laughing. Laughing so hard tears fall. I deserved to be punished and Felicity was finally safe from me, she no longer had to live her life a long side mine.

I stand and walked into the light. Not to die, to live and face what the world will do to me as a punishment for turning an innocent, young woman into a dark creature with a thirst for blood and hate.

**Present day**

My eyes flicker open, in a familiar place, my lair. And there she is- her back to me, cleaning up after a mess i probably caused. She was wearing strange clothes but the fashion was changing so often i could hard keep up. She wiggles her rear as she completed her task, her brunette hair pulled back into long pony tail also swayed as she teased me.

I zapped behind her, wrapping her in my cool arms loving her warm body against mine. i moved my lips to her ear, "Oh sweetheart, i had the worst dream!" i murmured as i pressed sweet kisses to her temple. "I can't stand the thought of being on this earth without you"

I felt a sharp jab in my ribs, i released her realising i probably scared her. Felicity spun on her heel to face me, only it wasn't felicity. The girl was young and clearly angry. To ear buds swinging from her ears, i rattled my brain to try and remember what century i was in. "Who are you?!" i ask, ready to kill.

"What do you think you're doing, Myrnin?!" she snaps at me, clearly not frightened of me or doesn't know of what i am. "I am not your next meal!"

"Where's Felicity?" I ask the stranger, "Felicity?!" i cry out, then realisation sets in. I return to my armchair. I know where Felicity is, i know who the young girl in my home is. I close my eyes and count to ten, finding it helps me return to 'normal'. "I am very sorry Claire. I was a bit dazed from my nap"

Claire comes to my side and kneels by my side, her small hands in mine. "Myrnin that wasn't a nap, you were more like in a coma, i came in calling your name and you didn't even stir." She smiles sadly. "You seemed like you needed the forty winks"

"Well Claire, i got enough to last me a life time" I reply trying to lighten the mood.

She was not biting. "Who's Felicity? You kept murmuring her name while you slept."

"A friend from many, many years ago" i state, trying to end the conversation. Claire didn't need to know how much of a monster i could be.

"You can talk to me, you know" she squeezes my cold hands and i appreciate the offer. I kiss her forehead, leaving my lips linger on her soft skin, needing to feel a connection.

"Thank you, sweet girl" I pull away slightly, looking into her eyes, "but my memories are enough to give an innocent thing like you nightmares. I won't burden you with my guilty crimes."

"You have paid enough." She whispers getting to her feet. "You can't be held to you crimes forever. You're a good man, Myrnin."

_Only if you knew, Claire, only if you knew._

"I have been left on this earth as punishment." I whisper, catching her eye line again. "I am over a thousand years old and for the rest of forever i shall live alone because i spoilt the one thing that actually made me hang on to my humanity. I am no man, Claire; i am an animal, a beast with no limits." Her eyes look straight at me, no blinking or looking away. She wanted to know the beast and she believes it has been tamed. "I have killed thousands of humans, maybe even millions. And yet i feel no remorse or need to change my ways." I tap my finger against my chin. "Do you think any less of me now?"

"Stop trying to scare me, Myrnin. I know what you have done to survive, humans kill millions of animals in a year to survive, it is no different." Claire states, her eyes betray her by looking slightly to the left. A small sign she was not expecting me to bring out a horrid fact like that. And yet her words burn into my skull, why was i trying to scare her off? She was the closest thing to a friend i had in this century. Then it hit me, how could i drag Claire in to my dark mind like i had done to felicity? An innocent young woman with a brain that made millions of people jealous, a pretty face and an award winning smile that could tempt angels to commit crimes. My punishment is to live alone with my insanity and yet i seemed to have trapped another small fly.

"Claire, please understand this: i want to kill you, i want to taste your sweet blood again, i want to feel you cool in my arms." I hum, drooling at the thought. Claire had now taken a visible step away and her heart hammered against her rib cage. "Felicity was smart, she ran away. But you keep returning to me, teasing Me." i catch her in my arms, looking into her hazel eyes her fear and sadness shining through them. I lean my face into the nape of her neck and press my cool lips to the vulnerable skin. "And yet i won't." I whisper, looking up at her face, her eyes now showing me that she was relieved that i had not sunk my teeth into her. "As i can't face a world where i kill two innocent woman that i care deeply about." I release her and turn away from her, stalking down passage ways not ready for her to question me more.

Claire didn't need the burden of knowing how i wanted to keep her forever but i had learnt from my mistakes, by time i finish with her she will want that too and not in a figure of speech matter. She will willingly give herself to me: Heart, body and soul.

I made my way into my little kitchen area and peered into my fridge and picking out a cool, bag of blood. Raising the crimson liquid into the air, i shouted out into thin air, "A toast to Felicity Greycroft, In Your Absence I have gone well and truly insane"


End file.
